i love aging and dying bumper sticker

Finally, a bumper sticker that screams, “Carpe Diem? Nah, I’ll pass.” Introducing: "I Love Aging and Dying." Because why sugarcoat the slow, glorious march toward becoming a walking antique with the energy of a deflated balloon?

This sarcastic slice of nihilistic genius is perfect for anyone who’s absolutely THRILLED about waking up with new mystery pains, watching their hair slowly abandon ship, and being reminded by every birthday card that their warranty is almost up. Slap this bad boy on your car and let everyone know you’re really leaning in to the whole decay thing.

Made from durable, weatherproof vinyl, because while your joints and dreams may crumble, this sticker sure as hell won’t. It’s the perfect accessory for anyone who laughs in the face of mortality—mainly because crying takes too much effort these days.

Warning: May cause unsolicited optimism from strangers who still believe in "aging gracefully." Avoid eye contact, and just let them bask in your sarcastic glow of acceptance.